A Tale of Two Boys

The collages below were created from the pictures that we have of David and Graham playing soccer. They are a good representation of all of the pictures that we’ve taken at the games. See if you can spot any differences in the way they play the game.

David, the happy child, is always smiling when he plays. Graham, the angry child, is always upset. David has scored 5 goals in 4 games. Graham has punched a kid, shoved a kid and violently shaken a girl by the shirt, and he’s easily the shortest kid out there. His wrath has generally been reserved for those who have legally taken the ball from him. We’re beginning to think that he might have a future in hockey, as the worlds shortest but meanest enforcer, or maybe boxing.

Naturally when my wife and I reviewed all our pictures from the games we decided that it was time to have a little discussion with the boy. I drew the short straw and sat my son down at the computer to look at all the pictures. “Can you point out your face in these pictures?” I asked him. He silently pointed to himself in all the pictures. “Can you tell me what is different about your pictures and your brother’s pictures?” I asked.
“He looks angry and I’m smiling.”
“That’s right,” I said. “I want you to be more like Graham. We’re not out there to have fun, we’re out there to win at any cost. Just think how many goals you could have scored if you cared about winning as much as your brother does.”
“Yes Dad,” David answered.

We’ll have to wait and see how things go this Saturday, but for now I think we’ve got this problem licked. I just better not see any smiles this weekend, especially not after last week’s drubbing.

In a related note, people often say that Graham looks more like my wife, and David looks more like me. Never has this been more evident than in these photos, and never has it been more likely that I’ll be sleeping on the couch.

Soccer Stars

Graham and David had their first soccer game this past Saturday. They play in a 3 & 4 year-old’s pre-kindergarten league, which is convenient since they are 3 and 4 years old respectively. They have a half hour practice before the games begin, which is much better than a mid week practice because they don’t remember things from one day to the next. I know this by the number of times I repeat myself.

At the first practice, Coach Peter introduced himself and began with some very important, technical drills like ‘look at me when I blow the whistle’ and ‘you must not touch the ball with your hands.’ Personally I thought that the drills were a little advanced for these kids, but he blew his whistle and 9 heads snapped around to look at Coach. The final drill involved a story about how the hungry goal liked to eat soccer balls, and how they needed to feed the goal. During this drill Graham, who either had the biggest jersey on the team or was the shortest person out there, actually scored a goal. He was ecstatic, I’m pretty sure that he thought they’d already started the game.

That’s Graham in the middle. Yes, the one in the dress.
We were ready for the game to start, and I use the word game in the loosest possible sense because under league rules they do not keep score. The point is to teach the kids about playing as a team, to teach them to follow rules and for them to have fun. Afterwards everyone gets congratulated on a job well done and everyone’s a winner. There are no losers in this league, except for all the kids on the opposing team who lost the game by a score of 5-2. That’s right, I kept score!

Two of our team’s goals came off the talented left foot of my son, David. I was worried when he didn’t score in practice but I guess he’s just my little Allen Iverson. “Practice? We talkin’ about practice?” I couldn’t have been prouder. Two goals puts him on pace for a 16 goal season which would obliterate the single season record. The record, of course, is not official for fear that it might make some kids feel bad about themselves, but it is whispered among the parents on the sidelines. Apparently, four years ago little Timmy Parker once scored 11 goals in a season, but there are rumors that he was juicing. One of his former teammates claimed that before games he’d often notice that Timmy had a red juice mustache.

After the game we celebrated by going to the park right next to the soccer fields. When David and Graham were done playing at the park we headed home, but not before stopping at a sporting goods store to purchase a whistle. TWEET! All eyes on Dad!

David on a breakaway.